My Review of Black List's Review

My Review of Black List's Review.

A while back, I submitted my sitcom script "Tested" to the Black List, and only recently (December 16th) orders an evaluation. I don't care too much for paid reviews, though I've never actually had one. Today (or tonight, since it's 3:42 am here) I received my evaluation, which I will show below. Please check out my script for reverence.

Everything in Courier is the Black list.

SCRIPT EVALUATIONS

Era:

NYC

Locations:

Modern Times

Genre:

Dark Comedy

Logline:

In an attempt to warn a past lover he may have given her herpes, womanizer Ryan accidentally breaks up and must subsequently rekindle her engagement.

Bible Logline:

After finding out he has herpes, an artist and his sister seek out his past lovers to warn them of their potential risk.

Strengths:

This script truly shines in its dialog. The sharp wit reflected in banter between the entertaining characters - most notably Ryan and Emily - helps push the plot forward and ameliorate the premise with the audience. There are moments of comedic brilliance akin to the early years of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER - with Ryan floating in to save the horny damsel in distress, or Chelsea launching herself at the car after discovering she might have herpes. These are fantastic and entertaining visuals further improved by brilliant descriptions that run throughout the script, carrying the same tongue in cheek tone so well established in the story.

Weaknesses:

However, the plot itself is too straightforward. There aren't sufficient complications to the script - everything happens very linearly and generally without much character-based or external confrontation. Without that, there isn't much growth for Ryan to go through, as there's little that makes him vulnerable. This is actually a major problem with the script in general - it takes far too long to make Ryan sympathetic - something that should happen much earlier in the script doesn't actually happen until the third act. At that point, he should have already demonstrated his merit to win the heart of the audience but he's spent the entire time acting only out of self-interest. The opening can also be eliminated - it does little to have it repeated and Ryan's discovery of his infection is a much more effective opening. Finally, the character of Summer is non-existent in the script but discussed as a main character in the Bible - by adding her to the script, not only will it add significant complications to the pilot, but it will also help establish her character as an important one.

Prospects:

The show could be very successful, but needs to focus much more on its characters in order to do so. Ryan needs to be significantly more sympathetic to the audience, and Emily needs to be much more present to solidify her character in the audience's mind. With stronger characters, viewers would be more inclined to return to the show about a morally depraved man trying to make amends.

Pages:

25

General Thoughts on Bible:

The bible is concise with not only good discussion of the characters, but a lengthy discussion of sample episodes. The only thing missing that could benefit the Bible would be a discussion of the endgame for Ryan's character development, to help establish a sense of overall direction with the show.

As stated before, I've never ordered an evaluation, and all I can say is I could not be more satisfied. Exact, concise, and straight to the point, this has opened my eyes to the strengths and weaknesses. The rating given to the script at 7 out of 10, which is a fair rating in my opinion and I think matches up pretty well with the review; praise but with notes. Funny enough, I've gotten the "How I met your mother" bit before. I don't normally watch that show, though I am not above thinking it's a good show. Point is, for $50 (yes, 50), the review is reasonably affordable and comparable to many other evaluations services that are a little more on the steep end. As well as that, the evaluation has an option of being seen publically, so that $50 could be the handy bit of exposure you needed (granted the rating is complimentary).

My review of the review; 10/10. Informative, eye-opening, and extremely confirming. If you're not sold on the whole Black List thing, this should be a strong recomendation, if for nothing else than its evaluation service.